Star Trek fans will understand the reference to the Kobayashi Maru. For the less informed, I will explain: The Kobayashi Maru was a Starfleet Academy simulation test that gave cadets a no-win situation that would result in the destruction of their starship and the certain death of their crew. The point of the test was 1. To demonstrate that there would be no-win situations, and 2. To see how they faced death.
Enter James T. Kirk, that James Dean-like-rascal-turned-cadet, who was the only person in the history of the Academy to beat the test. He did it by changing the conditions of the test – or, as some said, he cheated. He reprogrammed the simulation so that he could win. As he explained, “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.”
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So if you find yourself in a no-win scenario, change the conditions of the test. If you are stuck in a rut, you may not be able to change everything, but you can change what you can.
I dated a guy who was in a rut with women. Although we had a nice time together, it wasn’t a mutual love connection, so I unwittingly contributed to his rut. After we stopped seeing each other, he was very depressed and considering giving up on dating for good. I knew how he felt (I’ve been there many times), but I assured him that he had a lot to offer, he just needed to find the right one.
During his time with me, he shaved off his mustache that he had kept for over 30 years. It was at my prodding, but not at my insistence. I was surprised he did it, to be honest, but it made him look younger. In fact, everyone said so, not just me. I thought he looked more attractive.
He changed the conditions of the “test.”
Today he’s in a relationship, has been for a while, and judging from the photos I’ve seen on Facebook, they’re very much in love and very happy. I couldn’t be happier for him.
Now I can’t say for sure that the mustache change was what made the difference, but as far as I know, it’s the only thing about him that changed.
There are other things you can do to change your conditions: if you’re stuck in a rut at work, you can learn new skills so you can advance; If you’re stuck in your career, you can take some courses and enter a new field of work, or start the business you’ve always dreamed of; if you’re stuck in your relationship, there are myriad ways of dealing with that too, by spicing it up, taking time away to reassess, and even, if it calls for it, ending it and moving on; if you feel stuck in your life because of your weight or health issues, you can do something about that too, if you make it a priority.
You don’t have to be stuck in the same endless loop forever and accept your fate. There is always something you can do to change the conditions of the test. And only you know what that is.
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